You are not gonna fuckin' believe what I got going on here. Check this out.
I was baked on watermelon kush cherry oil,
I had this fuckin' urethra moment.
I've been fuckin' growing dope wrong my whole fuckin' life.
I mean, it's just so simple.
you hang the fuckers upside down, put the lights on the ground,
and gravity pulls the fuck outta them.
Like tying a dumbbell to your cock to stretch it, make it bigger.
It's fuckin' brilliance. Fuck--
What the fuck?
Reggie, what the fuck is going on out there?
Hang the fuck on, jackal jerker!
Cops are up our ass! We're making a run for it!
Sir, really?
Pull over and stop the vehicle!
I'm right here!
Hey! Julian! Check this baby out!
GPS watch I got up at the Penhorn Mall, she's a fuckin' beaut!
I can pinpoint our coordinates right now.
Know where you're standing on Earth, Julian?
45.380328 North
by 63.266579 West.
That's you, bud. Your spot in the world right now.
Jacob, for fuck sakes, put the paint on thicker!
I can still read "cock"!
Guess what satellite's flying over us right now?
There's a Delta 1 rocket body right over your head.
Hello, Delta 1 rocket body, international designator 10989-B.
People call you space junk, I call you fuckin' decent!
Bubs, that's nice, but man, I don't give a fuck.
I'm trying to paint my trailer.
Fuck, Jacob, who paints over windows, for fuck sakes?
Sorry! Sorry I'm just trying to show you the fuckin' coolest thing I've ever owned.
How about I set the coordinates to exactly where you can go fuck yourself?
-How's that sound? -Bubs, look, I'm sorry, man.
I just can't take my eyes off this fuckin' idiot for two seconds.
Guys, get in here! You have to see this!
-What the fuck is this? -It's the news.
No shit it's the news, dickass. What's going on?
Is that Reg?
There's a harrowing police chase through Portland Street
in downtown Dartmouth.
The shipping container is out of control
and demolishing cars in its wake.
Let's hope no one is dead.
Jesus fuck!
Today's report is brought to you by Gary's Nuts.
If they're not Gary's, they're not nuts.
Oh, no! It's knocking down telephone poles!
Ah, shit!
-Is that Ricky? -Jesus Christ.
Ricky must've had a fucking grow-up going at Reggie's.
Holy fuck.
We can now see that it's the familiar face of Ricky from the Sunnyvale Trailer Park.
No surprise that, yet again,
he's got himself into some serious trouble.
Boy, he must love the slammer.
Fuck you, Steve Rogers! Oh, my cock!
This reporter can confirm
it's that penis fully exposed to the public yet again.
And you better not be zooming in on my cock!
You're screwed. I don't know what to tell ya.
Your little upside down dope-growing operation made national news.
You'll need a goddamn wizard to get you out of this shit.
What the fuck are you saying?
You can always get us the fuck outta jail.
Come on, man. I'm desperate. Blow somebody if you have to.
Okay, there is one option, but it's not going to be cheap.
-What's your car worth? -Car?
All right, Ricky, you're free to go.
What the fuck are you talking about? Free to go?
Yeah, someone posted bail.
No fucking way.
Guess it must've been a wizard, ha, Steinberg?
What the fuck, man?
What about me?
Let's see. You fucked up most of downtown Dartmouth
and sunk the ferry in the fucking harbor
trying to load a six-ton crane onto it.
So, yeah, relax, you're gonna be here a while.
Reg, man, you gotta chill on those mushrooms.
Why'd you try to load a fucking crane on a passenger ferry?
Yeah, I wasn't on mushrooms. I was on a shit ton of acid.
Made total sense at the time, you rabbit raper.
Hey, Ricky. How was jail? Good times?
Bud, I don't know who the fuck you are,
-get the fuck away from me. -My boss wants to talk to you.
-You wanna get in the car? -Let me think about that.
Would I rather walk home alone
or get in that car there and get mouth-raped
and end up with weirdo cum on my beard? Not happening.
Look, my boss paid your bail.
So you can either get in the car or get the fuck back in jail.
What the fuck?
All right. But I swear, if I get in that car and see cocks coming at me,
I'm ripping every one of them the fuck right off.
Cool. Appreciate the heads-up.
Hi, I'm Kevin Rush,
one of the richest entrepreneurs in the world.
That's nice. Don't give a fuck.
Ricky, I have to say I'm quite impressed with how your brain operates.
Huh! Well, no one's ever fuckin' said that to me before.
But I gotta say, we don't always get along.
I'm sorry? Who doesn't get along?
-You mean you and your brain? -Yeah.
He can be a fuckin' asshole sometimes.
He's always fuck with me, making me do stupid shit.
One time, it made me stick my tongue in a fan.
Then I burnt down my trailer.
I've been arrested many fuckin' times, stabbed, electrocuted, shot.
All because of this fuckin' asshole up here.
Interesting.
I'm very curious about the theory behind your inverted agriculture.
-Huh? -Your upside down plants.
Oh. Well, it's fuckin' simple.
Just use gravity to pull the fuck outta plants.
It makes 'em grow bigger and way the fuck faster.
How would you grow plants in zero gravity?
No gravity? Fuck.
Well, off the top of my head, I'm thinking...
you could probably plant them in some kind of globey soily pots,
Put lights all around them, let them grow in every fuckin' direction.
Actually'd be pretty crazy.
Be like big fuckin' hairy balls hanging around.
Genius.
Fucking genius.
Ricky, I'd like to make you an offer.
Just get the fuck down, Jacob.
I can't. I got too high up!
Put the gun away, Julian. He's scared of heights.
He's like a cat in a tree.
Yeah, okay, bud!
I'll get packed up right away and give you a ring.
I'm really looking forward to it. Oh, and wait, here's my fucking card.
Bottle kids!
Hey, boys.
Holy fuck, you're out.
Who in the fuck was that and why aren't you in jail right now?
He's some fucking suit, dummy; bailed me for some reason.
Says he owns a fuckin' space company.
What? A space company?
Who the fuck was he?
Don't know. He's out of his fuckin' mind, though.
He thought I was fuckin' smart and shit,
couldn't believe how my brain worked.
Holy fuck! This is who bailed you out of jail?
-Kevin Rush? -Yeah.
-Who the fuck is that? -Who the fuck is it? Ricky!
He owns a space company. He's the CEO of Rush Space Dynamics,
one of the fuckin' biggest space companies ever!
Fuck off. Seriously? Wow, okay.
Whatever the fuck that is, I thought they were full of shit
when they asked me to grow dope in space for them.
Grow dope in space?
What the fuck are you on about?
-Oh my fuck, are you kidding me, Ricky? -No.
-They asked you to go to space? -Yeah.
Because they liked my brainy-o ideas about growing weed and shit,
-so we's-- -Oh my fuck.
Oh, this is unbelievable!
I train all my life to be an astronaut, I get fuckin' nowhere,
you get arrested growing dope in a fuckin' shipping container
and the offers just start rolling in!
-Unbelievable! -Holy shit!
So this is fuckin' real?
I mean, like, do you think I should do this?
-Go to space and grow weed? -What?
Of course you should fuckin' go to space, Ricky. What are you talking about?
Kevin Rush asking if you wanna go to space,
that's like fuckin' Glen Sather asking if you wanna be on Gretzky's line in 1985.
Ricky, you could be a weed-growing pioneer man.
My fuck. I could be someone in the history bookles and shit.
Ricky, I swear to fuck, you get that cocksucker on the phone right now,
you tell him you and your assistants are going the fuck to space!
Call him right now!
All right. Holy fuck, this is it, boys.
I'm going to space and fuckin' making a name for myself.
I'll be like Apollo Creed when he flew to the fuckin' moon.
-Ricky! Apollo Creed-- -Bubs, Bubs.
Just let him have this one.
Yeah, okay. Yep.
Just like when Apollo Creed and Rocky Balboa flew to the moon.
Holy fuck!
Mission control!
Decent!
Oh, decent!
Welcome, gentlemen, to Rush Space Dynamics.
Perfect! Now, let's do this.
Let's get the fuck in the rocket and get the fuck into space.
I've been waiting to do this every single day since I was a little kid.
I'm glad that Bubs is finally getting a chance to live out his dream
and going to space and everything, but to be straight up with ya,
I'm only concerned about the weed.
I'm not sure what our cut is in the whole deal,
but the way I see it, we grow the weed,
we get the deal we want
or we shoot the shit out into space. Fuck 'em.
Everyone studied the flight manual?
Don't worry about that,
I read through it enough times for all of us.
Point us to the space suits and we'll be on our way.
Let's do this.
Well, no, we've got a way to go yet.
We do have protocol.
What the fuck's a probocall?
I shit myself!
Decent!
O-oh, yeah, oi....
Holy fuck, boys.
We're going to space!
Prepare for liftoff.
Commander Bubbles, ready here.
Mission Specialist 1 Julian, Mission Specialist 2 Ricky, are a go.
I repeat, we are a go.
I guess you can't smoke on this thing?
Smoke? Ricky, do you even understand what's happening here right now?
What the fuck is that, Bubbles?
Oh, no, you didn't bring a fuckin' cat.
Julian, just shut up.
Starting main engines.
Check, starting up the main engines.
Ground launch sequencer is a go for manual sequence start.
Activating main engine hydro burn-off system.
Preparing roll program for 500 knots.
Er, that's a negative.
All controls are in override for launch.
Manual controls are non-functional.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Are you kidding me? I have no control over this fuckin' thing?
Roger that.
Oh my fuck. Are you kidding me?
I spent hundreds of hours on my rocket flight simulator.
I got special training with Commander Chris Hadfield
from the space shuttle.
And you're just gonna fuckin' tell me I can't fly it now?
Bubs, we know you know your shit, but right now,
just play with the buttons, try and enjoy yourself.
Just pretend we're playing Space like we do in the park,
except now, we're actually going to fuckin' space.
I know, but I wanted to fly it!
Three, two, one.
Booster ignition, and lift-off.
Everybody just calm the fuck down!
We're just hitting maximum dynamic pressure!
We're about to exit the atmosphere!
Come on, baby.
Almost there.
Oh my fuck!
Decent.
Look at us, boys.
We're in space.
Oh my fuck, this is amazing.
How's the commander's cock?
Big and hard, buddy?
Full disclosure?
I am sporting a bit of an erection, Richard.
It's nap time, boys. Wake me up when we get to the space station
-and start growing fuckin' weed. -Good call.
Nap time? Did you guys look out the fuckin' window?
Just a bunch of stars and shit. Pretty dark.
Look down, Ricky.
-Oh, fuck, what's that? -What's that?
It's the fuckin' sun, Ricky.
-Cool. -Oh my fuck.
Hi, there.
Permission to come aboard Starlab International Space Complex,
section two-C, Science Hydroponics Division.
Yeah, whatever.
What? That's not...
very astronauty of you there, bud.
I'm First Officer Vernon Chad,
this is Commander Quigly Bain, and Second Commander Freja Gustafsson.
Oh, nice to meet you guys. I'm Commander Bubbles.
This here's Mission Specialist Ricky, and Julian.
I hope you guys had time to look through my notes on my grow balls.
You mean the two pages written in crayon?
Yeah, we got through most of it.
Well, fuck you, spaceballs.
You're fuckin' jealous 'cause all I have to do is get baked
and geniusness just come out of me.
You dicks had to go to fuckin' college,
4 years to get your fuckin' PfD's, I bet.
Look, let's not start any shit here, okay?
Get everything set up and start growing.
What in the fuck are you doing?
Smoking is prohibited in the space station.
Ha! You're fucking joking, right?
There will be no smoking, no drinking
and no parties of any kind anywhere.
Are we clear?
Holy fuck. You are fucking serious right now?
Alright, you know what, guys? I am fucking sorry, right?
I don't need to smoke. It'll be a nice break from smoking.
You're totally right. I'll do whatever you say.
Love you guys.
Ricky, what are you up to?
How long will it take them to grow up here?
No fuckin' idea, Julian. I've never grown in zero gravity.
Finally, everything's fuckin' set up.
Time for a fuckin' celebration joint.
-I need to get baked so fuckin' bad. -Ricky!
-What the fuck are you doing smoking? -Bubs!
It's a high oxygen environment!
But this is the first grow-up in space ever!
Look, I guarantee ya, if fuckin' Neil Strongarms and...
Buzzed Almond are down there now looking up at me, saying,
"Ricky, fuckin' smoke that shit, dude."
Sorry, Ricky, you lost me at "Buzzed Almond."
Look, don't light up. You're gonna get us in trouble.
Relax, man. Everything's cool. All the astronauts took off.
We're all alone.
Guess they had to run and get some space groceries or something?
Space groceries? What the fuck are you talking about?
Ricky, why are your eyes darting back and forth?
I don't know. I guess 'cause there's no gravity
-to grav' them straight? -Ricky, what did you do?
Hang on, check the tapes.
They pissed me off, so I put sleeping pills in their space juice.
-What? - I think they shit themselves,
but fuck 'em.
Bye-bye, you nerdy scientist fucks!
Oh my God.
Shit, I didn't know there was fuckin' cameras.
Ricky, you can't just shoot people off into space!
Fuckin' deserved it. If they don't know what to do,
they shouldn't have fuckin' come up here in the first place.
-What the fuck was that? -Jesus!
I hope it's not aliens coming to space rape us.
Holy fuck, boys, it's the Russians!
They're docking!
Oh my God. What are we gonna tell them?
What the fuck are the Russians doing here?
They're scheduled to drop off supplies.
You'd fuckin' know that if you bothered with the schedule.
Oh my God, Ricky, look, when they come in,
we're gonna have to tell them the truth, give yourself up.
-That's all we can do. -I'm not fucking giving myself up.
Just tell 'em to fuck off. We don't need to let them in.
We have to let them in if we wanna fuckin' eat!
Who knows how long we're gonna be trapped up here,
now that you jettisoned the flight crew off to Mars!
Listen up. We're not telling the truth and we're not telling them to fuck off.
I'll take care of this, boys.
Greetings, comrades.
Okay, get down on the fuckin' ground! Now!
How the fuck can they do that? There's no gravity.
-Boys, let's do this! -Let's do it.
Can't believe you brought a fuckin' handgun into space.
Ricky, get in and pull whatever the fuck supplies we need.
Work all my life to be a respected astronaut,
now I'm a space pirate. looting a rescue ship for fuckin' liquor.
Holy fuck, this isn't easy, man!
Wrangle it, Ricky, like it's a bunch of fuckin' cows!
I've never wrangled fuckin' cows!
It's not as easy as it looks. We're in fuckin' space!
Fuck!
-Bubs, quick, give me a push, man. -I'm trying to, Ricky! There's no gravity!
Push harder than that.
All right. No hard feelings there, guys. Here.
Here's something for the drive home. Now fuck off.
Ricky, what are you doing? We need that. Get it back.
Sorry, bud, I need that back from ya.
Who's got your space belly?
Boys, I have to admit,
I'm feeling pretty good right now.
Boys, I fuckin' hate vodka, but I gotta tell ya,
drinking this right now in space,
it's the best fuckin' drink I've ever had in my life.
Check this out, boys.
Fuckin' cool.
Ain't'n that the most beautiful thing you've ever seent?
It's angelic. What is it?
My piss.
My fuck, that noise is annoying. What is it?
It's Mission Control trying to contact us!
Sorry, I'm taking care of it right the fuck now.
-Ricky, no! -Ricky, you don't--
Not gonna fuckin' hear from you assholes anymore, are we? Fuck off!
There we go! Perfect!
Every form of communication is gone!
What were you thinking, Ricky?
Wasn't me, it was my fuckin' brain. Deal with that asshole.
Bubs, it's been two weeks floating around in space, man.
-I know. -Do you have a fuckin' plan or what?
Oh, I'm quite enjoying myself. I could do this,
you know, as long as we need to.
My calculations show we got enough food for six months.
Jesus Christ. I can't drink vodka for six more months.
And don't you miss home, man? And bangin'?
Oh, yeah, Julian, that's what I miss, all the bangin' I was doing back home.
Boys! Come check this shit out!
-Holy Jesus. -Decent!
-You're a fuckin' genius, buddy. -Crazy.
-Thanks man. -Ricky,
your brain's not good at most things, but holy fuck, look at those plants.
It really worked!
I was pretty sure it would. I did get it see'd in my mind,
and I thunked it through big-time, and then I do'd it.
And now, it's time to fuckin' smoke some space weed and celebrate.
Ricky! What the fuck is wrong with you?
How many times do I have to tell ya, you can't smoke on the space station?
Come on, Bubs, please!
It's been two fuckin' weeks up in cock-sucking space
and I haven't burned a fuckin' thing.
-You gotta let me try this shit, please. -Nope! Nope, hand it over!
-Safety first! -Fuck!
I just grown the first real fuckin' space weed in history.
I gotta test this shit out.
Bubbles said I can't smoke in here, fuck it.
I'm getting in my space suit. In my space suit.
Not in the space station.
I'm in my space suit.
Oh, yes.
Finally!
Oh, that is the fuckin' shit right there.
This is another first.
A fuckin' space hotbox.
Oh, shit! Fuck! Piss! Fuck!
Oh, shit!
What in the fuck?
Is that Ricky?
Oh my fuck.
Look at the universe.
It's so fuckin' big and...
beautiful.
Wow.
Ricky! Ricky, can you hear me?
-We're coming for you, bud. -What?
-Got ya, buddy. -Whoa! No!
-Get the fuck back in the ship! -Ricky, you almost killed yourself!
Hold the fuck on, boys.
You gotta understand, this is...
two things happening at once.
This is the highest I've ever been and...
this is the highest I've ever been.
Fuck.
Oh my fuck, Ricky, is that smoke in your space suit?
What-- oh, shit! The joint! Fuck, fuck!
Ricky, what you doing?
You can't take off your helmet, you'll implode!
Back to the space station, right the fuck now!
Fuck!
Pull it off!
We did it, boys! We did it, we're safe!
Oh, thank fuck!
Shit. That's probably not good, eh?
Holy fuck! Abandon ship!
Head to the escape pod!
Emergency egress protocol 18.2.
Come on, Julian, where the fuck are ya, bud?
There's no way I'm leaving my fucking retirement up in space!
Yes, Julian, nice!
What are you talking about?
Oh my fuck!
As if we weren't crammed enough in this fuckin' thing already!
Sure you know how to fly this thing?
Yes, I got this.
I been waiting for this moment my whole life.
I am piloting this fuckin' space ship right now, boys.
-Thank fuck. -Okay, starting main engine.
Launch sequencer is go for manual sequence start.
Come on, Bubbles, remember your training.
Activating main ignition system.
Get ready and hold onto your cocks, boys, here we go!
How about that, boys? Commander Bubbles saves the day!
Nice work, buddy.
Holy fuck!
-Now we're gonna fuckin' die! -No we're not!
-Hold on, boys!
Just need to coordinate a flight path!
Holy fuck, my GPS watch!
Oh, yeah, baby!
Okay, punching in coordinates!
45.38 North...
-Get it together! -63.2...
Can't reach it!
Gary Lee's Eyes, you gotta push the six!
Got it! Okay, boys!
We're going right the fuck back to Sunnyvale!
-What the fuck was that? -Jesus!
I just deployed the shoots, boys.
Okay, prepare for landing.
This could get a little rough.
Nope, we're good. We're good!
Where the fuck are we?
Could be fuckin' Zimbabwe for all we know.
What the fuck is all the commotion?
I'm trying to sleep, you fuckin' cock-suckers!
Well, looks like we're home, boys.
Welcome home, gentlemen.
I have some tremendous news, Ricky.
You're not going to jail. The not-so-good news?
You can't tell a soul what happened here
or... you're all dead.
Holy fuck, boys.
Am I really, really high or did all that really happen?
Damn it, they took all the space weed!
What was that worth a gram?
Fuck, I can't even imagine. There's never been real space weed before.
Could've been 500, 5,000, maybe a million! Who fuckin' knows? Whatever we wanted!
-Gotta be fuckin' kidding me. -Boys! Who gives a fuck?
-I do! -Boys, come on.
Let's not get down about this. Think about it.
The three of us from a little trailer park in Sunnyvale.
We went to space.
I actually got to command a spaceship
and I flew it all the way home on my own!
Ricky, come on, you were a pot-growing pioneer,
even though nobody will ever know about it.
Julian, you got drunk on vodka for the first time in space.
You think about that. This was a great success, boys.
-Yeah, you're right I guess, Bubs. -You're fuckin' right I'm right.
All right, well,
can I fuckin' smoke something now or you still got rules and shit?
The stock is fuckin' soaring.
Thank fuck Ricky doesn't read.